How I and my life kicked each other.

I've read some blogs which are bent upon tickling your ribs till you laugh to death. This article is such an attempt.If this artcle makes you laugh, thanks to my sense of humor. If it eats up your time keeping you lip tight, then you need to hand over Mr.Salil Ravindran, Who's me?, to the FBI. He is the one who inspired me in doing this.

I worked as an RJ for one of the most prominent radio stations in Chennai. For one minute. But since I repeated every word twice to make sure the listeners hear me properly, they said I was over qualified. Poor fellows, couldn't identify the genius in me in one minute. I wished them better luck next time and came back.

There are quiet a number of fellows who haven't identified the genius in me. One such dude is Narayanamurty, INFOSYS.

He asked me, "If Sam is shorter than Robert, ROBERT is shorter than Michael, Michael is taller than Alex, Alex is not taller than Sam. Who is the shortest?"

I said, "Simple. Sam is the shortest. Just three letters"

I don't know why, but I had to wish him better luck next time.

Mr. Shiv Nadar must comparatively be a luckier person. Though he too felt that I was over qualified for his technologies company, he requested me not to spoil his BPO concern which was doing excellent.

So HCLBPO Chennai got a great genius as its employee.

There after five to six months of intense, severe and spartan training I hit the floor, with my head.

One fine evening I woke up to see the backlight of my mobile going on and off. It said Teamlead calling...

I picked up the phone. "Hello"

"Hey Ramesh, where are you? Your team is already logged in"

My God! Why did I handicap this creature from its screaming abilities? I looked around here and there and saw my Grandma's photo. Thank God and Grandma.

I said, "John, my Grandma.... my grandma... DIED!"

"Why didn't you inform earlier?"

"She didn't inform me either"

The call got disconnected. I lay on the bed cursing myself for killing my grandma. I could have killed her some other time. Just a headache would have been sufficient for this. By now, I know, you would have concluded that I lied to my team leader. I am sorry. You have completely misunderstood me. My grandma actually did die. But that was ten years ago. And I love her very much, at that time she helped me quit my quarterly exams.

The next day I was awake and ready when the cab came to my house. But I was in a dilemma whether to go or not. I can't keep wasting leaves, so I decided to go. Won't it take at least two or three days for someone to come back, when they take leave for their grandma's death. I wasn't sure. But I knew, me going today would be unnatural.

So I went straight to my Team leader, who was happily surprised seeing me on the floor, and said, "John. My grandma actually didn't die. She had just fainted. We took her to the hospital and now she is doing fine."

His bright smile faded and he gave me crossed eyed look which made me put my head down. May be he understood I was planning to kill her some other time.

After a few days it so happened that a customer liked me very much that he went on talking to me, increasing my AHT and my Team leader's and mentor's BP. As a person who believes in smart work rather than hard work, I asked him whether he could see a cable running from the telephone to the wall jack.

He said, "Yes."

I asked him to pull it out.

He said, "I see two cables coming out of the wall jack. One goes to the modem and another to the telephone. Which one should I pull out?"

I said, "Both."

“Okay. Give me a second.” And the call got disconnected.

The person in charge of quality had been listening to this. He already was very much impressed about my arguing skills, which I exhibited aggressively during the previous feed back session. He came running with joy, with the above conversation typed in a white sheet and gave it to me proudly. I also saw the following lines. “Agent guided customer into disconnecting call”

I said, “I intended to say, both lines should not be disconnected, but the customer was in hurry”

The quality person laughed. If you had seen old Tamil films, you could have seen the villains laughing such laughter.

I was asked to relax in the training sessions. I wanted to celebrate this occasion by eating to my heart’s content. I went to a Punjabi Dhaba Express. There I saw the girl, whom I then wanted to propose, having lunch with a guy who was much uglier than me. Every body turned to my direction hearing an explosion that arose somewhere near my shirt pocket. Till today I live with the hope that it was not my heart.

That day, the great genius decided to be with HCLBPO no more.

I hope Mr. Shiv Nadar, doesn’t mourn for it till today.

Note:This article has been written with the intention of making its reader laugh.

This is totally fictitious. Any coincidence with true names, companies and incidents are purely coincidental and unintentional.- OFFICIALLY

But unofficially speaking, yes, all the characters in this work are 100% alive, 200% eating and 300% rocking this earth and don't intend to stop until it falls off its orbit.